What Math Does To Your Brain...: The Quest: Choosing an English Premier League Team...Part 2

I have spent what is likely an unhealthy amount of time reading about the EPL lately in my quest to choose a team to call my own. But, first I must send a few teams out to pasture. I have some (probably too many) rather obnoxious sports rules that I ascribe to. One of these prohibits me from jumping onto a team just because they are "popular". The other side of this coin is that if you don't choose a popular team, you will never see them on TV...which makes being a fan of them rather tough...I never said this will be easy. So I have to balance choosing a team that won't make me throw up in my mouth and once I will get to watch on TV once in a while.

For those who don't know there are 20 teams in the EPL. Each team plays every other team twice (once away and once at home) for a total of 38 games. 3 points for a win...1 for a loss. The 3 teams with the lowest points each season are "relegated" to what is essentially the "minor" league (not really...but lets go with this). Likewise 3 teams from the Championship League (the "minor" one are elevated to the premier league. It is not wise to follow a team that is likely to be relegated as a) you will almost never see them on TV (unless they are playing one of the big 4) and b) if relegated you will REALLY never see them on TV.

So with that...the elimination begins...

I will separate these teams into 2 groups...the "I can't" group and the "likely to be relegated" group.

First the "I can't" group. 3 teams here...and I have decided that under no circumstances could I root for either of these teams.

Manchester United Football Club

The best team in the EPL (record wise)...the winningest team in the EPL (record wise)...the most popular team in the EPL (number of fans wise)...

They have the biggest budget, buy the best players and everyone loves them. They have hundreds of thousands of true fans and millions of bandwagoners...no thank you.

I saw somewhere someone say it would be like if a 30-year old British chap decided to get "into" baseball and chose the Yankees. I couldn't do that....and I won't do this...sorry.

Liverpool Football Club

Too popular...don't like their uniforms...plus Tom Hicks owns them (for now) and I had enough of his nonsense being a Texas Rangers fan...

Manchester City Football Club

The Mets of the EPL...Recently bought by a kagillionaire UAE guy who has poured tons of money into the club. They buy tons of overpriced players and still don't win (hence Mets) and are the 2nd team in a city behind the most popular team in that sport (hence Mets). Just can't do it.

Now the "I might want to...but won't let myself...but will secretly enjoy watching them play" group. Two teams here

Chelsea Football Club

Owned by a crazy kabillionare Russian guy. Buys all the good players. But for some reason I find this an endearing trait in Chelsea. Love the way the play...cool kits...great players. But in the end too popular and too bandwagony. But...still will be fun to watch from time to time

Arsenal Football Club

Easily the best choice of the "Big 4" (really big 5 now with Man City). They play beautiful football....great players...are owned by "the people" in a way similar to the Packers...there symbol is a Cannon...nickname is "Gunners"...based in London...The book Fever pitch was wrote about them....really nothing to dislike. And I may love watching them play...but they won't be "my" team...just too popular....(I know...it's dumb)

So there is the first 5 eliminations....what is really just "The Big 4" and Man City....now a few others to chop.

These are the "Too likely to be relegated/never on TV teams"...won't give too many details...just know they are bad and will never really be on TV unless it is to get torched by Chelsea or Man U.

Wigan Athletic

I could only find this small logo...that should tell you something...only in premier league since 2005...likely to head back down this year...

Birmingham City Football Club

Recently promoted....heading back soon...

West Ham United

I think their claim to fame is hooligans...hmmmm

West Bromwich Albion

Nickname is the baggies...and they have a bird on their crest...i like birds...but that's about it

Blackpool Football Club

Barely made it to the Premiership...likely to go back...blackpool doesn't sound fun to visit

Aston Villa Football Club

Have seen everywhere that their fans are the most self-loathing bunch in the EPL...would basically be like being a Cubs fan or Browns fan or etc...no thanks...